Walking with Friends who are Deconstructing

More and more, we are hearing terms like “deconstructing,” “reconstructing,” “deconversion,” and more. There are probably those around you going through some sort of process like this. How can we journey with them well, seeking to listen and understand while also pointing them to Christ?

Looking at our Own Journeys

Reflection Questions

• Are there aspects of your faith that you have deconstructed and reconstructed?
  • e.g. views on a certain topic; doubts that you walked through.
• What do you recall being most helpful to you during that process?
• What do you recall being least helpful?

Breaking down wrong beliefs we have held about God is a part of faith. “Deconstructing” aspects of your faith is not wrong in and of itself—but reconstructing those aspects based on truth and faith in God is necessary for this to benefit rather than break down our faith.

God is Not Surprised by This

What do you see in the following verses that speaks into deconstructing and reconstructing?

• 2 Timothy 4:3-4
• Colossians 2:6-8
• 1 John 4:1
• John 6:66-69

God knew humans would struggle to know what is true, would be tempted by false teachers, would sometimes desire to change our beliefs to suit ourselves. He has addressed this exact topic in Scripture! He urges us to look for what is true, to build ourselves up in him, and to remember that he is the only solid foundation upon which to “construct” something. He has to remind us to respond this way because it’s not always easy. He is not surprised by these struggles or our wrong responses. And so, we can be free to respond to our friends not with shock and frustration, but with grace and truth, as God does for us.

Stories of Deconstruction, Faith and Response

Read Sarah’s story about her “renovation” of faith.

• What sticks out to you from her story?
• How does this help you empathize with friends who are experiencing similar things?
• What did you learn that could help you journey with your friends?

Read Ross’ story of responding to friends walking away from their faith.

• What sticks out to you from his story?
• How does this help you understand your friends who are experiencing similar things?
• What did you learn that could help you journey with your friends?

Response

Prayer: The most effective way we can intervene in our friends’ journeys is through prayer, lifting them up to God and interceding on their behalf. Who do you know who needs prayer in this area? Spend time in prayer for them now.

Reaching out: Is there a helpful way in which you can reach out to the person/people you are thinking of, in light of the stories we’ve read and what we’ve learned?